Edraith enni
by ApolloNico24601
Summary: Sian Gladwin awoke in a cell in Rivendell with no knowledge of how she got there, only the knowledge that she had committed a terrible crime that she had no memory of. When the quest to take back Erebor offers her a chance of escape, can she trust herself to take it? What consequences will follow? Follows timeline of 'The Hobbit'.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The chains around my wrists and ankles were rubbing the skin raw as I pulled against them, trying to break free. My throat was raw as my screams got quieter and quieter until I was sobbing so violently I could hardly breathe. The cold metal bit into my flesh, and it seemed the more I pulled the tighter it got. My voice simply ricocheted off of the walls, mockingly reflecting my cries for help.  
'Hello?' I whispered hoarsely. 'Please. Anyone?'  
You are probably wondering why and how I got there, but the truth is I didn't have a clue. One minute I was… Wait. Where had I been? I was constantly going through common information in my head. My name was Sian Gladwin. I lived in London, England. I had a younger brother called Owen. I worked as a waitress in a small Italian restaurant. The year was 2012. The date was 21st June - my birthday. But that was always as far as I got. I couldn't even remember waking up that morning. I knew I had to remember something but I couldn't remember what. A date in my diary perhaps? A date, that was it! But with who… Then in an instant the thought was gone. It was as though someone had punched holes into my memory. Was I getting amnesia? At first I thought I was dreaming but dreams were never this painful. Not even nightmares. Was I dead? Was this hell? Chained to a wall forever alone?  
Every time I saw an image or a memory in my mind's eye it was gone in seconds – like trying to catch dust motes. On and on I called out for almost 2 hours, not that I knew who I was calling to. What would anyone want with me? Was there anyone here? Was this some sort of a sick joke? I thought I was going insane until I heard footsteps walking down a corridor in the dark. I thought I'd been imagining it at first but then I heard a jangle of keys and a lock click. I raised my weary head and saw a glowing blue orb lighting up a sort of cell. Two figures stood behind the bars behind me, just visible in the half light.  
'No dirweg uin uan, mellon.' I heard someone say in a hushed voice.  
My tired brain wasn't functional enough to try and translate what they were saying, but it didn't sound like any language I'd heard before. I heard the chains being unlocked from the wall and felt a hand grip my shoulder.  
'Echuio.' Another voice ordered. 'Tolo ar nin.'  
'What?' I asked groggily, as they practically dragged me to my feet. 'Who are you? Why am I here? Hai capito?'  
I stumbled up steps as I tried to get rid of the numbness in my legs. I squinted when light appeared at the top of the steps and I could get a better look at the people escorting me. They were young men, but the silver helmets and glistening yet fine chainmail made them look older. Their faces were set in a stern expression bordering on contempt, but the thing that struck me most was their pointed ears and long, fine hair. They sure were weird, and looked like something out of a fantasy book or something. Narnia? Game of Thrones?  
One of them kept glaring down at me and gripping my arm probably harder than he should be, but every time I caught his fiery gaze he looked away immediately as if he were disgusted by me.  
'Where are we going?' I questioned, my voice getting stronger as I felt strength flow back into my limbs.  
'Who are you?'  
Again they didn't respond.  
'Have I done something to offend you?'  
Either they didn't understand or were deliberately ignoring me. Whatever it was, my questions rendered useless. After being pulled unwillingly down many blank corridors, we stopped at a large oak door with ornate patterns carved into it. One of the strange men knocked twice and called out something in the strange language. After a few moments the door opened and my jaw hit the floor at what I saw. Beautiful white buildings rose up out of the valley in-between cascading waterfalls that literally took my breath away. I was sure that I'd never seen anything quite so amazing in my life. What part of the world was this? Atlantis? I looked down over the edge of the walkway we were on and inhaled with shock. 50ft below us was a huge torrent of water that plummeted down into oblivion. Why the hell were there no railings?  
Suddenly, we'd arrived at another set of doors that were wide open leading into some sort of huge hall. Along the sides of it there were rows and rows of people, all dressed in what looked like medieval cosplay outfits. If they were, they were amazingly well made. Cutting through the middle was a long navy blue rug leading to what looked like an ornately made throne. I immediately felt self-conscious as the guards began walking me down it. I felt all of these peoples' eyes boring into my head. Why did they hate me so much? What had I done? I heard mumbled voices and I strained my ears to hear what they were saying. Despite the voices being foreign, I felt cogs turning slowly in my head. Words became jumbled and slurred and then a few phrases became familiar. The harsh snarling was beginning to make sense, though I wished I'd remained innocent to the abuse they were hissing at me.  
'You monster!'  
'Foul beast, you bring nothing but destruction!'  
'I had a cousin in Tal Bruinen, but guess what happened to them?'  
'You're worse than Orc scum!'  
'I'd kill you myself if I could.'  
The murmurings got louder and louder inside my head but were still no more than a whisper to anyone else's ears. I started to panic even more, my heartbeat like a hummingbird's wing. I didn't even know this place or these people, why did they want to kill me. I was becoming more and more sure that this wasn't a game - the raw hate in the onlookers eyes made me sure of that. Unexpectedly, I heard a cry of pure grief and anger and a knife struck the floor just next to my knee. It took a moment for some guards to react and drag the howling woman away, but even when they did, they did so with regret – as if they'd wanted to do it themselves.  
The guards dragged me up a few steps and dropped me in front of the throne. I slowly rose my head to look into the eyes of the man sat there. Man didn't exactly do justice to his appearance, deity suited him more. He had long dark hair and a golden band across his forehead, highlighting his pale, ageless face. His grey eyes were piercing yet held the wisdom of an old man. He held his head high with a natural air of confidence, and there was no doubt that if I wanted to get answers, then he was the guy in charge.  
'Look, sir, I don't-' I was cut off by a cuff over the ear from one of the guards that almost sent me sprawling across the floor.  
'You will speak when Lord Elrond asks you to speak, do you understand, mutant?' he hissed in my ear before pulling me upright and stepping away.  
'Thiriston,' the man I now knew to be called Lord Elrond chastised the guard, but his voice was not harsh. It was the contrary, the kind of velvety voice that makes you hang onto every word and obey without question. 'No harm will come to her while she is in my presence.  
The guard looked thoroughly ashamed and bowed his head in respect, but not before shooting me a glare. Then Lord Elrond turned his gaze to me. He did not look at me with hate, but more disappointment and a hint of sympathy.  
'Speak child, what is your name?' he asked me, as if this were a casual conversation.  
I looked around me, hoping to find some sort of support among the cold yet beautiful faces around me, but there was none.  
'Sian Gladwin' I replied, before hastily adding: 'My lord.'  
He raised an eyebrow, but didn't question me.  
'And you know why you're here, do you not Sian?'  
Despite feeling like a guilty child, I knew that this was my chance.  
'No, my Lord, I don't!' I almost cried out and the room immediately erupted with enraged shouts and bitter, humourless laughter. I bowed my head in defeat and knew that whatever they believed I'd done, they would not hear otherwise.  
Lord Elrond raised a hand for silence and the room went quiet. He then nodded for me to continue.  
'I know this must sound impossible to you, but I cannot remember anything since awaking in my cell today.' I explained, searching his face for some sign of belief in what I was saying but he proved very hard to read. 'I understand that I must've done something terrible but I don't know what.'  
Lord Elrond nodded, but I couldn't tell if he believed me or not.  
'Please,' I begged again. 'I don't understand.'  
He sighed and sat up slightly in his throne.  
'A few days ago,' he started, and my brain mind was screaming for his to just cut to the point. 'The settlement of Tal Bruinen was destroyed by a creature. Some say wolf, some say bear, some say something worse than both. But the truth is there were no survivors. However all of the evidence that we have says that it was a skin-changer.'  
Again there was a chorus of mutterings and all the eyes on me was starting to make be feeling claustrophobic.  
'The only skin changer we know is Beorn, however he is in the Vale of Anduin and would never cause any destruction to an innocent settlement.' He continued.  
'Then how does this link to me?' I asked, my throat starting to close up with fear.  
'Because you, Sian Gladwin, are the only other skin-changer we know of.'

The silence in the room was deafening, making my eardrums ring. My mouth refused to co-operate with my mind for a few moments before I spoke.

'I- My Lord. I'm not a, er, 'skin changer',' I replied, trying to make them see sense. 'I don't even- Is that a shape-shifter or something?'

Lord Elrond frowned and leant forward, as if searching my face to check that I wasn't lying.

'I mean, at least I don't think I can turn into a wolf or anything.' I rambled, laughing nervously to myself.

But Elrond didn't laugh. He just studied me silently. The tension in the huge hall suddenly made it seem so small. I could almost smell the anticipation and bloodlust on the crowd's breath. I started to break out in a cold sweat, my eyes darting around the room. Surely they didn't think I'd deliberately killed anyone. Not that they know me at all. Suddenly, Lord Elrond stood up and spread his hands to address the whole room.

'I'm afraid this hearing has come to an end,' he announced and held up a hand as angry voices started to rise. 'This child is clearly confused and judgement will be post-poned for now. Please leave us in private.'

'It's a trick!'

'Of course she's lying!'

'She's trying to save her own skin.'

'Silence!' Lord Elrond demanded, but his smooth voice was not angry but rather sympathetic. To whom , I also, didn't know.

As the crowd filtered out through the doors, I knelt hunched over on the stone floor, hoping that someone wouldn't try and kill me on the way out. When they were all gone it was only me, Lord Elrond, and the two guards left alone.

'Thiriston,' he turned to address the hateful guard that continued to glare at me as if he would rip me apart with his bare hands. 'Please leave us also.'

Thiriston looked as if he were about to protest before gritting his teeth and turning to leave. I flinched as he leant down and whispered in my ear: 'You may have Lord Elrond fooled, but not me. I can see straight through you.'

Elrond waited until he heard the slam of the great oak doors before he began speaking. The other guard eyed me warily but with more fear than hate.

'You know who I am, do you not?' Elrond asked.

'You are Lord Elrond.' I answered, hoping I didn't sound as simple as I felt. Unfortunately it seemed I did as he let out a light chuckle.

'I understand that, but do you know who we are?'

I thought before shaking my head. As far as I knew I was in Narnia, as that seemed the most reasonable explanation right now.

'Remarkable,' he muttered to himself. 'You truly are lost aren't you.'

I went to answer but it appeared the question was rhetorical.

'We are the Elves of Rivendell and I am their Lord.' He explained.

His words sparked images in my head – a dark haired woman giving a man a jewelled pendant on a bridge; a council of people in long robes sat around a table in a stone arched shelter. I blinked slowly, trying to hold the images in my head. Whatever he'd said, it meant something, but I just couldn't quite grasp it. I smiled apologetically.

'I'm sorry, but I still don't understand. What country are we in? Switzerland? England? Canada?' I questioned, trying to get my head around the fact that these people called themselves Elves.

Elrond looked puzzled, as if this were just as confusing to him as it was to me, and I couldn't work out if that was a good or a bad thing yet.

'We are in Middle Earth.' He replied slowly, as though he couldn't quite believe what I was asking.

The name rung a bell, I was sure of it. But how was this even possible? I went through words in my head, trying to see if they would stir anything. Elrond. Rivendell. Elves. Middle Earth. Tal Bruinen. Skin-Changer. I felt as though I should remember these words, which I guess in some part of my brain I did.

'How very peculiar.' he mused, studying me as if I were an interesting artefact in a museum. 'Is there truly nothing you can remember? Do you know where you come from? Can you not remember anything about the desecration of Tal Bruinen?'

I bit the inside of my cheek in thought.

'I come from London.' I stated, although it sounded more like a question. Elrond's ageless face creased with frustration.

'I cannot recall any place with that name. How far is it from the Trollshaws?' he continued to question.

'I don't know,' I repeated, fully aware of how stupid I sounded. 'I can't remember getting here.'

'Is there anything you can remember?'

'I can remember being in London, and then I was here.' I tried to explain, hoping that he'd say something like 'I have seen this before' or 'I have something that might work', but his piercing eyes were clouded with confusion.

'I shall seek the help of Gandalf the Grey Wizard.' Lord Elrond told me. And I'm supposed to know who that is? 'He might be able to make sense of this.'

When he said wizard all I could think of was Dumbledore. I felt as if I was missing something huge, as though it were right in front of my eyes. Then I realised that the guard was looking at me expectantly. Was I meant to say something?

'Th-Thank you my Lord.' I said, and Elrond nodded.

'For now Elhadron will escort you back to…' Lord Elrond's expression was bordering on a grimace. 'Your cell.' He finished and my mouth fell open.

'B-but, I don't understand what I've done wrong!' I protested. 'Why should I go back to my cell?'

'I will send a healer to heal your wounds, but for now you are unpredictable and for your own safety and for the safety of others-'

'I wouldn't hurt anyone!'

Elhadron made a hesitant move towards me, looking horrified that I would interrupt his Lord. Elrond sighed.

'I understand that, but you could be under the influence of dark magic. You have to realise that we have to take precautions, don't you Sian?'

I scoffed aloud, not caring that I would probably get myself killed if I kept this up – this was against civil rights wasn't it?

'Dark Magic?' I laughed humourlessly. 'What, like Voldemort?'

Lord Elrond and Elhadron exchanged confused glances.

'You can't just-'

'Lord Elrond is trying to help you!' the guard snapped. 'He could easily have you executed but he isn't doing so for your sake not ours. There are many of my kin that would be happy to see you dead! The least you can do is show some respect to your Lord.'

While I was speechless, Lord Elrond didn't seem fazed at all by this.

'Thank-you Elhadron,' he comforted him. 'But you must understand what this woman is going through.'

The guard stared at his feet and nodded.

'Yes my Lord.'

Lord Elrond put a hand on his shoulder before turning back to me.

'If there is anything you need within reason, simply alert one of the guards. I will try to help you as soon as I can.' He assured me and I suddenly felt extremely guilty.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-' I started but Elrond simply waved a hand and nodded to the guard.

Elhadron went to help me up but I refused and shakily got to my feet. I thought I saw a glimmer of pity in his eyes before he set his mouth in a thin line. He gripped my shoulder, but so gently I almost considered attempting to run away, and steered me back down endless hallways to my cell.

Once the lock had clicked and the guard turned to walk away, the weight of loneliness started to press down on me. What about my friends (limited amount) and family? What were they doing now? Had they noticed I'd disappeared? Would they be able to contact me? Highly unlikely.

'Guardperson- I mean um... Elf?' I called after him and he stopped,

'Yes?' he huffed, obviously irritated.

'Do you ever get lost?' I asked him and he chuckled slightly.

'No.' he replied. 'That's the prisoners' job if they try to escape.'

* * *

**Please review, even if it bad I'd like to know how to improve :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit or any of the characters (no matter how much I wish I did)**

Chapter 2

I listened to the monotonous ba-dum,ba-dum, ba-dum of a blue orb hitting the wall and bouncing back to me. The light cast eerie shadows around, highlighting the black iron bars that surrounded me on 3 sides. I'd been sat doing this for the past half an hour and was already bored out of my mind. At least I had light now, but there wasn't exactly much to see apart from the silhouetted figure of Elhadron sat by the steps. No healer had shown up yet to magic my wounds away and the guard didn't seem to understand my request for a phonecall.

I'd given up trying to remember things - considering all of my attempts proved useless - and instead decided to focus on the facts. I'd been accused of the 'desecration' of a settlement near Rivendell in Middle Earth. I'd also been mistaken for a skin-changer and now loads of people wanted me dead. But despite the facts, I still couldn't come up with a plausible conclusion.

'Have you ever heard of Aslan?' I asked randomly, not realising I'd said it aloud.

El stopped sharpening his sword and his head turned slightly towards me.

'Who?' he questioned, irritated again.

'Aslan? Cair paravel? Prince Caspian?'

'Are these name of places you come from?'

I huffed and caught the orb, setting it on the floor next to me.

'They're just names that sound familiar.' I muttered.

There was an awkward silence as he continued to stare in what I thought was my direction.

'You do understand that most of us disbelief your story.' he informed me. 'Thiriston most of all,'

I groaned and buried my head in my hands.

'Are you alright?' he asked and I nodded, not sure if he could see me or not.

'Why do you keeping saying 'you do understand'? Is it not obvious that I don't? All I want is an explanation.'

'Yes well so do we. For all we know you could be lying. Memory loss is easy to fake-'

'I wish I could remember!' I yelled, losing my resolve. 'If I did remember, I would happily tell you the truth!'

I took his silence as a chance to try and prove my innocence.

'Do you know how it feels to be accused of something that not only you didn't do, but can't remember? Look at me - do I really look capable of destroying a village?' I protested, though I guessed it would fall on deaf ears.

'How do you know you didn't do it if you can't remember?' he countered. 'And skin-changers can take any form.'

My eyes stung with unshed tears of frustration.

'Even if I did do it, I don't know any more than you do!' I continued to argue, refusing to believe that I was to blame. 'How would it be fair to incriminate me?'

Elhadron exhaled shakily, as if trying to hold back his anger.

'Many were killed.' he reminded me. 'If there's any chance that you were the one to do it then that means we have a chance of making the killer pay.'

I gulped, trying to ignore the lump in my throat.

'What would happen if I was proven guilty?' I asked, my voice cracking with fear.

'The council might try to have you imprisoned.' he thought aloud.

'But?' The realisation that I might actually be in grave danger was starting to hit me.

'The people will try to have you killed.'

I inhaled sharply, trying to have faith that somehow someone would find evidence to prove my innocence.

'Are the people like the other guard? Do they all hate me that much?' I asked, dreading the answer.

'If you found the killer of your Uncle is being held prisoner rather than having their head on a stake, would you act kindly towards them?' he hissed, probably letting more pain into his voice than he was meant to.

Despite myself, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. But I hadn't done this, why should I worry when I know the truth?

'I'm truly sorry for his loss, but I don't know how I can apologise on behalf of a monster that killed so many when I'm not responsible.' I tried to sound genuinely sympathetic through the fear.

'The other guard is my brother. We shared the same loss.' he spoke without emotion.

'Why aren't you as hateful?'

'I am as hateful towards whoever did it, but it isn't yet proven to be you.' I smiled with relief; at least I wasn't on one person's hit list. 'And I hope that it isn't you, for your sake. For if it is, I wouldn't hesitate to kill you.'

There was another pregnant pause before I spoke again, softer now.

'How many were killed?' I asked.

'There were no survivors.'

'How many were killed?' I repeated, my voice stronger.

Silence.

'I don't know exactly,' he told me. 'But it was a lot. You wouldn't want to know the exact number.'

I got the idea then that the conversation was over as he turned his back and began sharpening his blade again. I slumped back against the wall and closed my eyes, only just realising how tired I was. Maybe when I woke up, everything would be normal again. As my eyes fluttered closed, I thought of my home, my family, my life, and dreamt of returning to them.

Contrary to my hopes, I was awoken by a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over my head. I coughed and spluttered as I jolted awake, flailing my arms around to ward off my attacker. Feeling my fists close around hair, I pulled hard and heard a grunt of pain.

'Daro! Daro!' I heard a familiar voice hiss. 'Man cerig? Leithio nin!'

I immediately let go and crawled backwards away from him.

'What the hell?!' I yelled and Elhadron clasped a hand over my mouth.

'You've been unconscious for two days, what else was I supposed to do?' he whispered harshly.

I glared daggers at him until he released me and hastily stepped away. I shook my head to try and get the water off of me.

'Two days?' I choked out. 'How was I asleep for two days?'

'I don't know,' Elhadron shrugged. 'We thought you were just ignoring us or starving yourself to death or something. So I got told to make sure you get some sort of nutrition.'

'By throwing water over me?' I accused him and he shushed me again.

'Ai! You'll draw attention to us!' he berated.

I rolled my eyes and huffed, before turning a deep shade of red as my stomach made a sound like a dying whale. Elhadron smirked but I poked him with my foot.

'Thanks for waking me up then I guess, so where is the food you were talking about?'

'Well actually, Lord Elrond was wondering if you wanted to eat with him,' the guard informed me hesitantly.

'Why?' I asked, unsure as to whether I could trust him or not.

'There is much to discuss,' he explained. 'And he thought it would be easier to talk in a more relaxed environment.'

I eyed him warily for a moment before slowly getting to my feet. My joints screamed in pain as I stretched, and I winced hearing them click. On the floor of the cell there was a discarded bowl of food which, even though it was two days old, still made me hungry. I turned to follow the guard out of the cell when I noticed that the bars were in fact behind us. I wasn't in the cell. My eyes darted towards the staircase as I weighed up my options. Suddenly, the sharp tip of an arrow was only about an inch from my neck. I looked cautiously along the shaft into Elhadron's eyes which were now only filled with anger and frustration.

'After all we've done for you, you would still try and run?' he asked, but it was more of a statement.

'I wasn't going to run!' I hissed. 'Why must you be so distrustful?'

'You were thinking about it.' He observed and I sighed.

'You can't blame me for thinking about it,' I retorted. 'I am far from my home in a strange place with strange people. Tell me you wouldn't think about escape.'

Elhadron only continued to glare. Only because he knows I'm right.

'If I promise not to run, will you let down your bow?' I tried to reason with him but he shook his head.

'I'm not sure that I can trust you.'

He started walking towards the steps, the arrow never wavering, but always trained on me. I followed him slowly, trying to ignore the fact that all he needed to do was slip and the arrow would fly straight into my neck. I shivered slightly, but Elhadron seemed not to care.

I'd like to say that the maze of corridors was somehow familiar, but I felt as though the entire route had changed. The scenery never ceased to take my breath away, but the light stung my eyes. I practically have insomnia, how did I sleep for two days?

As we approached one of the ornate stone shelters, Elhadron let down his bow and nodded.

'Lord Elrond is waiting for you. Remember to address your Lord properly.' He reminded me as I shuffled as carefully I could across the insanely thin bridge with no railings.

I ran a hand through my hair and frowned – I don't remember it being this smooth. Looking down, I noticed my clothes had changed too. I was wearing a pale green dress that was so light I felt like I wasn't wearing anything. It was probably quite plain in Elvish standards but I'd never worn anything so exquisite. My hair wasn't as long as some of the Elvish women's either, but it was at my shoulders and had one braid trailing down my back. My hair was never this tame! But the main thing that struck me was that my hair was black as pitch. I'd dyed my hair once before but I'd never dyed it black.

After the current confusion already being added to, I shook my head and strode inside, a gracefully as I could manage (which wasn't very graceful at all).

'Ah! Gi suilon, Sian Gladwin.' Lord Elrond greeted me with his arms spread wide.

I bowed I head respectfully, cared to attempt a curtsey in case it didn't go as well as I'd hoped.

'Hello, my Lord.' I replied, my voice coming out annoyingly small and scared.

He nodded in response and gestured for me to sit down. I did so, and looked around the table, preparing to be met with hateful glances.

Instead, I was shocked to see the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. She was obviously an elf due to the ageless and magical quality of her features, and her pale skin was almost glowing. Her eyes were a piercing blue that seemed to see right into my soul, and her clothes flowed around her as if they were made of mercury. Her golden hair shone in the light of the rising sun making her look like some sort of Goddess of Light.

_Lady of Light._

Her expression wasn't angry or disappointed, nor was it happy, she merely looked at me with interest and curiosity. When I met her gaze she smiled slightly.

_'You are a mystery, are you not child?'_

My eyes went wide with shock as I heard a voice like music speak inside my head. I looked around the table but Elrond and an old man opposite him were in deep conversation. The lady's smile got wider as she saw the confusion on my face.

_'Be calm child,'_ she spoke inside my head again. _'I am Lady Galadriel of Lorien. I mean you no ill, only to help you.'_

Her eyes were fixed on mine, but she was not looking at me. She was looking into me, as if she were scanning my mind, my brain, my memories. Then it clicked – was that what she was doing? Searching for an answer inside my own head?

I'd already tried to accept that this world contained Elves and skin-changers, but real magic? Lady Galadriel's face became contorted with confusion, then frustration, then maybe a slight hint of fear.

_'You do not know why you're here. Nor who or what you are.'_ She explained as if I didn't know that already. _'You cannot remember as your memory has been rewritten.'_

'What?' I asked aloud, making Elrond and the white-haired man turn to me. 'What do you mean rewritten? I can remember London and home but I can't remember anything here.'

This time Lady Galadriel spoke out loud, but only addressing me.

'You speak of London as your home, but you are not who you think you are, Sian Gladwin. Your life in 'London' was only a diversion. A distraction.' She continued. 'This body is foreign to you, and yet so familiar.'

I covered my face with my hands, feeling childish. Did Elves always speak in riddles or were they just giving me a hard time?

'You have been living a false life, and cannot remember this life here as you have been absent for too long.' she tried to explicate as simple as she could but my brain couldn't take it.

'My life I had in London, in England, Europe, Earth, that was real! Are you telling me that 26 years of my life has been a lie?' I countered.

'I'm sure it seems that it was real, but you never originated there. Your real life has always been here. You were reborn into that life to forget your life here.'

_'Why me? Why now? Its impossible!'_ I screamed inside my mind, not believing that this could be happening to me.

There was a pause as Lady Galadriel met my eyes, her gaze full of sympathy.

_'That remains to be seen. For protection, possibly.'_ She continued. _'It may seem to you now that you have been picked out at random, but your life here would tell a very different story.'_

_'I don't need protection!'_ I countered, but I wasn't very sure of my own words.

_'Maybe the protection was not for you, but from you.'_

'I have done nothing wrong!' I cried aloud, visibly shocking Lord Elrond and the old man.

There was another silence, interrupted only by the sound of my heavy breathing.

'The most powerful way to stop someone regaining memories is not to erase them, but to rewrite them.' Lady Galadriel explained.

'I wouldn't hurt innocent people.' I whispered hoarsely, losing the will to argue.

'There is a chance it wasn't an innocent person who needed protection. Maybe you knew too much.' she mused.

'Knew too much about what?' I asked.

'Why are we jumping to conclusion based on 'chances'?' the old man spoke, his voice harsh and his eyes untrusting. 'She could've easily desecrated the town and then rewritten her memories herself so as to be seen as innocent when her consciousness returns to her.'

'Do I look like I know how to do that?' I scoffed, my confusion and frustration turning into anger. 'I don't even understand what you're saying!'

Who was he to accuse me of something that none of us know hardly anything about?

'Maybe you once knew, but-' the old man started but I was relieved when Lord Elrond interrupted.

'I believe this is much more than the destruction of Tal Bruinen.' he decided. 'There must be a much darker power at work.'

'We have no proof!' the old man protested.

'Neither do we have any proof that this woman is guilty.' Lady Galadriel explained, and a deathly silence fell over us as we all anticipated what that meant. 'The block in her mind has the mark of a dark sorcerer.'

'Saruman,' Lord Elrond addressed the old man. 'Let us walk and give Sian some peace.'

Saruman reluctantly stood up and followed Lord Elrond out of the pavilion, mumbling something under his breath. Lady Galadriel was silent, probably waiting for me to recover. I raised my head and wiped the tears from my eyes.

'So,' I started, clearing my throat. 'Who actually am I, if I'm not who I seem? Did I destroy Tal Bruinen or not?'

Galadriel sighed softly and shook her head.

'Only you can know that,' she confessed. 'I cannot search through memories which you yourself cannot remember.'

'What about my family? What about home?' I asked. 'When will I be able to go back?'

'I'm afraid, young one, that you cannot return. The world you come from was never truly your home, whether it even exists is another matter entirely. That was the work of sorcery. You have always belonged in Middle-Earth.' she went on.

I took a shaky breath and sat up in my chair. _The simplest explanation, no matter how impossible, is often correct._

'But I'm not a skin changer.' I concluded, finding it hard to believe that I could actually change into an animal despite what I'd already seen.

Galadriel didn't answer and instead changed the subject.

'Elrond offered you food, did he not?'

I nodded grimly, my appetite suddenly lost.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry that this is shorter than my other chapters, but the rest will be longer (hopefully). I also apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes, but I do try to go through and change them afterwards if I notice any. Please tell me if Sian is too much a Mary-Sue because I hate Mary-Sues and would rather take this down than include one in my own story. I don't own Hobbit or Lord of the Rings etc *goes and cries in a corner***

Chapter 3

After that meal, I didn't think I could ever look at another vegetable again. The conversations had passed by like a blur, involving an occasional nod or shake of my head.

No-one had mentioned or questioned me about my home. _But it's not your home anymore is it?_ I thought I should probably be inconsolable, crying uncontrollably, fainting or having a mental breakdown, but I wasn't the sort to dwell on things which I couldn't change. Of course I was angry and upset and confused, but the fog in my mind was starting to clear.

The hardest thing to get my head around though, was that I once had a life here. I could've had friends or family, what if I was once a totally different person? Would anyone recognise me?

Saruman the White Wizard, not that I thought he deserved such a title, still believed that I wasn't to be trusted. Honestly though, I don't know if I'd trust me either. However, I still think he could at least try and give me a chance, rather than accusing me of everything.

He kept persisting that I wasn't trying hard enough to remember. Did he not think that I wanted to remember too? Surely this can't have been the wizard Elrond sent for, how could anyone stay in the same room as him for more than a couple of seconds. Everyone but Saruman left me alone. He seemed to think that now that I knew how I got here I would settle in after about ten minutes.

'Who is Gandalf?' I asked out of the blue and all eyes turned to me again.

Saruman rolled his eyes and sighed.

'There are 5 of us wizards,' he explained with a smug air of superiority, as if it was the most stupid question he'd ever heard. 'I, Saruman the White, then Gandalf the Grey, the two blue wizards – Morinehtar and Romestamo – and then there is Radagast the Brown.'

I hoped to God that Gandalf wasn't anything like Saruman.

'Well actually,' Elrond started, clearing his throat. 'We do not know Gandalf's exact whereabouts; therefore it may be some time until we have his help.'

I gave Saruman a death glare across the table. If I was to find my place in this world, no way was it going to be anywhere near him.

'How long will it be, as an estimate?' I asked, hoping someone would figure something out soon.

'Mithrandir rarely stays in one place, child,' Galadriel said, now stood facing away from us, gazing out over the breathtaking scenery. 'He comes and goes at his own will.'

I ran a hand through my hair, still not used to my new body. Then I paused – what if it wasn't only my hair that had changed? What if I had a whole new face? It was stupid that it hadn't occurred to me yet.

'So what shall we do until then?' I inquired, slowly regaining some sort of confidence.

'Well you'll return to your cell of course until you remember or until the council decide what to do.' Saruman answered almost immediately as though it had been the answer all along. To send me back to my cell.

'Saruman, I do believe that is quite harsh on Sian here,' I breathed I sigh of relief as Elrond stood up for me. 'However I agree that we have to take precautions.'

I rolled my eyes. Despite knowing that they're right not to trust me, it didn't mean I wanted to go back to being caged like an animal.

'So… I'm going back to my cell then?' I confirmed, raising an eyebrow.

'Not exactly,' Elrond assured me. 'We will give you some temporary chambers for you to reside in until you regain your memory, but they will be guarded.'

'That doesn't sound too bad.' I agreed, but I was sure there was a catch. 'But what about after that? What about when I remember?'

'It depends what she remembers.' Saruman pointed out.

'And if it's bad?' I inquired.

Elrond exchanged a worried glance with Lady Galadriel.

'Then we will decide on our actions at that time.' The Elf-Lord concluded. 'Until then, it is impossible to plan ahead.'

'So I'll sit here until I remember?'

'We will do everything we can to help you.' Elrond assured me.

'And what if I never remember? What if the sorcerer's plan worked too well?'

'So many questions!' Saruman sighed. 'We know hardly any more about this than she does.'

'Can you address me in person?' I challenged, his attitude really beginning to get on my nerves.

'I beg your pardon?' he spat, insulted that I'd even spoken to him.

'Mellyn nin!' Elrond interjected, his usually calm face taught with irritation. 'There is no need to fight.'

Saruman sat back in his seat, shooting daggers at me across the table. I inhaled deeply and purposefully ignored him. _Be the better person._

'I'm sorry, My Lord.' I apologised, not wanting to be in Elrond's bad books.

Saruman muttered something under his breath but Elrond ignored him, turning to me.

'Thank-you for joining us, I'm sure we will learn much from you.' He said, his smile welcoming but his eyes sympathetic. 'I am sorry that you have been found in this situation, but please co-operate as much as you can.'

I bit back a retort, reminding myself that he only wanted what was best for all of us and his people.

'Thank-you for your…' I put on a smile. 'Help and hospitality. I will try to repay you in as many ways as I can.'

As if I'd be able to help him. He's practically a King.

Elrond nodded, his expression now serious. He held my gaze as he called for Elhadron, as if he were trying to tell me something. I however, being really bad at picking up signs, didn't understand. He spoke in a hushed voice to the guard before standing up. I quickly followed suit but almost fell when my dress caught on the chair. _Mental note to get used to long dresses. _I'd never noticed how tall the Elves were until now - I was almost a foot shorter than them both.

'Navaer.' Elrond bowed his head and I did the same before being guided out by Elhadron.

The language felt strange on my tongue, but in the same way it came as naturally to me as English did. I guess that showed that there was a chance of remembering something. Suddenly, I paused and turned around.

'So am I a skin changer or not?'

But I was greeted by silence as no-one was there. Talk about dramatic exits.

'My lady, you have to follow me.' Elhadron tugged gently on my sleeve.

I sighed and started walking after him, but this time (to my relief) we headed up the stairs rather than down.

'Did you hear the meeting?' I asked the dark-haired guard and he escorted me to my new room, although it felt more like house arrest.

'No.' he replied monotonously.

'Is that what you're meant to say to be professional or did you actually not hear anything?'

'You are a very curious person,' Elhadron laughed lightly.

'If you were in my situation you would be as well.'

He studied me with interest and humour, before starting to laugh again.

'Why are you laughing at me?' I frowned.

'One day all your questions are going to get you killed.' He warned me.

'Maybe, but I can always talk myself out of getting killed.' I countered.

We stopped ascending as we reached a door and Elhadron took a key off his belt. It was smaller yet just as ornately carved as others with a pair of eagle wings etched into the oak. He unlocked the door and held it open for me.

'Orcs don't stop to listen.' He smirked before closing the door behind me, clicking the lock in place.

'What are orcs?' I asked but there was no response.

I huffed and mumbled to myself before turning around and having my breath taken out of me for the billionth time since I'd been here. Sunlight spilled in through small windows with birds painted on them in blue, casting their images onto the birch wood floorboards. It was easy to say that if I had to be held in this room forever, it definitely could be worse. The walls were stone but lined with beautifully crafted tapestries of strange creatures that I'd never seen before in my life. In the middle of the room there was a double four poster bed with sheets and pillows that looked like I'd melt into them if I lay on them.

There was a dark wood bureau containing ink, parchment, a quill and a few books. However I was slightly disappointed when I opened the wardrobe; inside was a moth-eaten dress that probably used to look stunning but now the colours had faded. Shrugging, I closed the doors – it was better than anything I would've worn in London.

_No! You can't think about that!_

I tried to shove thoughts of home out of my head and strode over to the balcony doors to get some air. I tried to pull them open but they were locked. I groaned aloud and instead opened a window, but it only opened about an inch.

'Are you trying to escape?' I heard a voice call from the outside the door.

'If I was would I tell you?' I snapped back, massaging the sides of my head with my hands.

'Are you going to stand there 24/7?' I asked.

'Yes. There are two more of us posted outside and down the corridor.' He informed me.

_Yay, was that meant to make me feel safe?_

'Don't you sleep?'

'Elves don't need sleep.'

'What?' I exclaimed in disbelief.

So now I have three people guarding me constantly in a stuffy little room while I slowly get consumed by my own mind.

'If you need anything, let me know.' Elhadron said, but he sounded as bored as I did.

'The key?' I tried, but was only greeted with a low chuckle.

'Nice try.'

I was sat with my face pressed against the cool glass of the balcony doors when I heard a knock. There was a hushed conversation outside in the corridor – too quiet for me to make out what they were saying. I really needed to go to the toilet, but I was too scared to ask. Did elves even need toilets?

'Come in!' I called, standing up and smoothing the creases in my dress.

The lock clicked and the door swung open. A young woman walked in carrying a bag full of what looked like medical supplies. The door quickly closed behind her as she lay the contents of her bag out on the bed, not even glancing once at me. Her dress was green and of a similar simple style to the one in my wardrobe, only the colours were vibrant and there were leaves around her waist and entwined into her white-blond hair.

'Um… Hello?' I greeted but she only glanced in my direction before grasping me by the shoulders and sitting me on a stool.

'I am Liliel.' She introduced herself without looking me in the eyes. 'I am a healer.'

I frowned; why would I need a healer if I wasn't hurt? Then I remembered the chains that had cut into my wrists and ankles.

'Oh, le hannon,' I thanked her and held out my wrists to be examined.

However she seemed uninterested and looked up at me with a smug smile on her face.

'Saruman told me that your illness is not physical, but mental.' She explained. 'Any physical injuries are irrelevant.'

'But, Elrond said-'

'All we need is to find out why you destroyed Tal Bruinen as soon as possible and then have you punished for your crimes.' She snapped.

Shock was clearly evident on my face as she tutted and turned around, pouring silver liquid into a bowl. Why couldn't all elves be like Galadriel, rather than having their beautiful faces distorted by hate or disgust?

'What? Did you think Lord Elrond would defend you after what you did?' she scoffed.

'Actually no, my thoughts were that I didn't do it.' I retorted and she glared at me.

She shoved the bowl in front of my face.

'Drink this.' She commanded.

I sniffed it but turned my head away, not trusting her in the slightest. She rolled her eyes.

'I wouldn't gain anything in killing you now.' she reasoned and I knew she was right.

Watching her out the corner of my eye, I took the bowl from her and drank the liquid. As soon as it hit my tongue I began to feel drowsy. I blinked a few times, my eyelids feeling heavy.

_Woah this stuff is strong. _

I thought as I fell onto the soft pillows.

_I felt bones snap like twigs in my jaws, my teeth like knives through butter. The air was filled with fire and blood and smoke, my ears filled with the sounds of flames crackling and people screaming. My vision was red and hazy as pure hate coursed through my veins, like a fog that I couldn't shake away. Black smoke obscured the moon as my roars pierced the night sky. Never again would these people see the light of day. Not after what they'd done._

_I heard a cry of rage and felt an explosion of pain as an arrow struck my side. I whipped my head around to see an archer on the roof, a bow in his hand. I licked my lips and pulled them into a smile and I charged towards the scaffold. He tried to shoot again at me but flames licked higher and higher up the wooden frame. I savoured the look of fear in his eyes as I slammed all of my weight into the bottom of the platform, watching as it tumbled down into the ashes. I heard a woman and child scream, but the sounds were like music to my ears. Let them scream, let them grieve - they were nothing but ghosts to me now._


	4. Chapter 4

**I know this doesn't seem to be going anywhere right now, but I haven't had much time to write and I promise that there will be more action soon. I think. Please review and tell me if this is too Mary-Sueish or repetitive :)**

Chapter 4

'Echuio! Av-'osto, Hiril vuin.' I heard a voice call through my screams.

I hadn't realised it was me screaming until I felt as though I had gargled with sand. Coughing, I was slammed back into consciousness with a jolt. My eyes snapped open, wide and scared.

'Hiril vuin, man cennich?'

My breathing was heavy and I could taste sweat when I licked my lips. I struggled upright and ran a hand through my hair, now damp and tangled.

'Mirror!' I gasped out.

'What?' Elhadron was sat on a chair by the bed; his brow was furrowed with concern. 'My lady, you must rest.'

'No,' I inhaled deeply, regaining focus. 'I need a mirror. I need to see.'

'See what? Sian, what did you see?' he asked but I was already stumbling around the room, opening every cupboard and every draw to find some sort of mirror.

Despite Elhadron's protests for me to sit down, I found a mirror in the draw of the bureau and held it up to my face. My face was hollow, pale skin pulled over sharp bones. My lips were thin and chapped, now open with shock as I took in my appearance. My hair was long and as black, but now matted like a bird's nest, the once delicate braids now knotted together.

But this foreign appearance was not what worried me most; my eyes were gold. Not a beautiful shining gold like the colours the sun painted on the skyline, but a harsh amber colour that sent shivers down my spine.

I hardly felt the pain as the mirror fell from my hands and smashed against the wooden floor, the glass flying upwards and making small cuts on my legs. I was vaguely aware of Elhadron's cry of shock but it sounded quiet compared to my racing heartbeat.

_It was me. I'd destroyed Tal Bruinen. _

I'd never considered before that it could be me - the notion had seemed absurd. But now I understood.

_I was a skin changer._

I didn't know how, and I couldn't comprehend if I still was, but what I'd seen had felt more like a memory than a vision.

_That's because it was._

I didn't understand why I'd done it, all I was sure of was the pure rage that had pulsed through my veins as hot blood had soaked through my fur down to my skin.

'Sian!' Elhadron snapped as he dragged me away from the smashed glass and turned me to face him. 'What in the name of the Valar are you doing?'

My mouth opened and closed like a fish as I tried to think of a plausible answer. I hoped to any God that was listening that he couldn't see through my lie.

'I-I was just shocked.' I forced a light laugh through my lips. 'It's strange not recognising your own face.'

Elhadron eyed me suspiciously before the door swung open.

'I heard screaming and I thought-' Liliel stopped in her tracks when she took in the scene before her. 'What happened?' she questioned, her cold eyes boring into mine.

'Well-' I started but Elhadron cut me off.

'I frightened her, that's all.' he told her, his face void of all emotion. 'When she woke she was surprised to see me watching her.'

'And the mirror?' she asked.

Again I opened my mouth to speak but Elhadron stood in front of me to obscure me from view.

'It is understandable that she would be in shock after not recognising her own appearance.'

Again, another flawless lie.

'Why must you be so feeble, Sian?' she sighed, sitting me down on the bed and taking a bottle of murky green liquid out of her bag.

'Drink this.' she ordered, but I was hesitant; it didn't go well last time she told me to.

'What is it?' I inquired and Liliel rolled her eyes.

'It will restore your strength.'

'I don't need-'

'You look terrible, drink it.' she commanded again.

It took all of my willpower not to refuse it as I took it from her and drunk it. It didn't taste nearly as bad as I'd imagined - more like honey than anything else. I felt as though the liquid was bleeding into my bone marrow as I immediately began to feel stronger.

'Thank-you.' I smiled but she simply looked at me with disgust.

'Is your feral mind so weak that you can't even find the most important memories?' she sneered. 'Us elves live for hundreds of years and I can still remember-'

'Mellon nin.' Elhadron cut her off, although even he looked like he agreed with some of what she was saying.

Liliel dipped her head apologetically, but she didn't look sorry at all.

'Elhadron,' she smiled softly at him. 'Could you leave us for a moment?'

He looked reluctant, but eventually sighed and left the room. I stared longingly at the door, wishing that he hadn't left me alone with her. When I turned my head to look at my healer, there was a strange enthusiasm in her eyes.

'So then, Sian, what did you see?' she questioned and I was immediately put on the spot.

I swallowed slowly, trying to keep eye contact with her.

'I saw... Fire.' I replied, the memories burnt into my mind.

Liliel raised an eyebrow, but nodded her head for me to continue.

'And there was screaming.' I added.

I was hardly lying, just not telling to whole truth.

'And?' she asked again.

Her voice was calm but she was leaning forward in her chair, her eyes wide and curious; like a bloodhound that had found a scent.

'I don't know.' I replied, sounding stupid. 'Just fire and smoke and screaming.'

Liliel narrowed her eyes and her lips were pressed into a thin line.

'Is that really all? You were unconscious for three hours and that is all you managed to remember?'

I tried to look apologetic as I nodded, my eyes downcast. They could never find out the truth. I'd be killed.

Her features had been warped by the anger and disappointment on her face, making her look like a serene predator. She stood up, her back straight and her head held high.

'You're a waste of time!' she hissed, her knuckles white as she placed supplies carefully back into her bag. 'This may just be a game to you, but lives are at stake.'

A flicker of pain and sorrow flitted across her stone cold eyes, as if to enhance my feeling of guilt. But if they found out what I'd done, what my former self had done, they wouldn't stop to hear me out. I'd be executed.

Liliel slung her bag over her shoulder and grasped hold of my hands in a desperate plea.

'If you think this is about vengeance, you're wrong.' she told me, her nails digging into my skin. 'If there's anything you remember, anything at all. For everyone's sake.'

She trailed off as she saw the look in my eyes. I wanted to help, in any way I could. But I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk explaining something that I myself didn't understand to people who didn't understand me. I slowly pulled my hands away from hers and kept my head down; I couldn't bear to see the look of disappointment on her face.

'I shall talk with Saruman,' Liliel informed me, her voice monotonous. 'Until then you will wait here.'

Then she rose again and strode out, not looking back as the door closed behind her. I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding and held my head in my hands. Whatever strength I may have had before my mind had been 'rewritten', I hoped that it would return to me now.

What would motivate me to destroy the town? To kill all those innocent people? The thought - or rather the memories - made me feel physically sick. Also, what would happen if I suddenly remembered who I once was? Would the revelation, the memory, the secret that had been buried inside my own mind, would it change me?

I pulled at my hair and took a deep breath, walking over to the shards of glass that littered the floor. My foreign face was reflected back at me from every angle as I knelt and carefully piled them together.

Seven years bad luck.

I held onto one of the pieces and put it onto the mantel piece above a small, intricately decorated fireplace. I studied my own face again, fascinated by the change. It was as though it was another person in the glass mimicking my actions.

_So what now?_

If I told them what I'd seen, they'd kill me. But until I told them what I could remember, I'd be stuck in here. Forever. How long did a skin-changer live? I laughed humourlessly to myself. How could I live in a world foreign to me without even knowing anything about my own race? I felt human, but that didn't appear to prove anything.

I started to pace back and force slowly, trying to gather my thoughts. I could deal with living here - it wasn't that bad after all. But with hundreds of people baying for my blood? That I couldn't handle.

I yelped in pain as a tiny shard of glass embedded itself in the bottom of my foot. A string of obscenities, too harsh to be in Elvish, fell from my lips. I pulled it out of my flesh, watching as the droplets of blood ran along my pale skin.

'What is it?' I heard a voice call from behind the door and I bit back a sarcastic retort.

'I just cut myself on some glass!' I called back.

There was no reply. I shuffled up to the door and sat down, cross-legged on the floor next to it, tracing the grain in the wood with my fingernails.

'Thank-you.' I said, biting my lip as I waited for an answer.

'For what?' Elhadron asked, although his voice suggested that he knew exactly what.

'For speaking for me.' I replied.

'You think I did that for you?' he scoffed, a harshness evident in his voice that I hadn't heard before.

'Well I guess I just assumed that-'

'I did it because it was the right thing to do. Liliel is a good person but she can be harsh in her judgement and I didn't think it fair for her to criticize you so quickly.' He justified his actions,

'Everyone else has.'

'Not everyone. You forget that there are a surprising amount among us that stand by the phrase 'innocent until proven guilty.''

'I'd love to meet them.' I mumbled.

'You're not going anywhere.' Elhadron snapped.

His voice was like a physical blow.

'Yes, I know.' I told him through gritted teeth.

I'd thought he was less rude than everyone else, but obviously I was wrong.

'There's no need to sound hard done by.' he said. 'I'm doing you a favour.'

'Well yes I know I understand that but-'

'Especially when I know you did it.'

My mouth fell open, my eyes wide with disbelief. I didn't even know how to respond. How could he know?

'But- I didn't-'

'Do you take me for a fool?'

'No I didn't mean to-'

'You said you saw smoke and fires and screams, yet when you were dreaming you were laughing. You were-' he paused. 'You were smiling.'

I inhaled sharply at his accusations. Surely I wasn't. What was wrong with my mind? A hard lump formed in my throat as I tried to answer.

'Look, I know how this seems-' I began.

'I actually believed you.' he laughed lightly in disbelief. 'You are obviously a practiced liar.'

'Could you hear me out? Aren't you the one that prides yourself in your just ways?'

There was a silence which I took as an invitation to continue. I hadn't thought out what I was going to say, so I simply spoke my mind.

'This is going to sound crazy, but there was a sorcerer or something,' I winced as I realised how childish this sounded. 'Basically I did destroy Tal Bruinen but I'm no longer the same person did it.'

'No-one can repent that quickly.'

'No,' I huffed in frustration. 'My memory was rewritten so I am now technically a different person I can't remember who I was, or why or how I did it. I can only remember doing it.'

I held my breath, hoping that he'd accept it, but there was a voice in the back of my head screaming Even if he does believe you, it doesn't mean he'll think you're innocent! Are you insane? Do you trust him or something? You killed his uncle!

'Who could have magic that powerful?' he thought aloud, but he sounded as though he knew the answer.

'I don't know, this is only what Lady Galadriel told me.' I told him, my voice quiet in defeat.

'Its very confusing, yet can be explained so simply. Why would someone wipe your memory?'

'I don't know!' I snapped, annoyed that I couldn't answer the easiest of questions.

There was another long silence as I scratched tiny patterns into the floor.

'Is there anyway I can get out of here?' I asked desperately.

'You're dangerous. You can't get out unless you confess.' he stated.

'To what? A memory?'

'As strange as it seems, yes.'

I knew he was right, but so many things were uncertain that I couldn't take the risk.

'Will you tell them? Will you tell them that I did it?' I pleaded.

'I told you once that too many questions would get you killed.' Elhadron sighed.

'Well the answers seem to be more dangerous now.'

'I don't know. You are right that many would want you to be killed, but Lord Elrond is wise. Especially with Lady Galadriel's assistance.'

'Couldn't you tell them that I mean no harm?'

'But I don't know that do I?'

I opened my mouth to defend myself but I heard footsteps approaching.

'Saruman.' I heard Elhadron greet the visitor monotonously.

I scrambled away from the door and carefully pushed the glass shards underneath the bureau, ignoring the pain in my foot. I sat on the chair and grabbed the hairbrush, trying to look 'natural'.

'Is she awake?' Saruman demanded.

'Yes, Saelon.' the guard replied, his voice slightly irritated.

'I have permission from Lord Elrond to speak to her.'

Oh yay, another visitor. Couldn't they give me a break?

There was a moment's hesitation before the keys clicked in the and the door swung open. It took all the effort I had not to roll my eyes as the arrogant wizard strode in, his robes flowing behind him, taking up half of the room with his presence. The door closed before I could even think about trying to escape.

'The she-elf said you're awake.' he stated with disinterest, as if he didn't care whether I'd died in my sleep.

'Yes.' I replied, mimicking his blunt manner.

'I suppose you're going to tell me now about how you don't understand and how it can't possibly be you and so on and so forth.' he asked, but it was obviously rhetorical as he continued before I had a chance to speak. 'So, to clear you're head, I've decided to help you.'

I eyed him warily. Help from him didn't seem like a good thing, and I'd only known him a few hours.

'Reports say that you are a skin changer. Are you?' he inquired, his eyes boring into mine making it hard to think properly.

Instead, I said nothing. I didn't think my mind could cope with so many interrogations. A part of me wanted to tell them everything and get out of this nightmare, but the more rational part told me to stay strong. Saruman sighed.

'You can't withhold information from me.'

'By order of who?' I asked, immediately cursing myself for speaking aloud.

'I have permission to extract information from you by any means possible.' he sneered and my blood ran cold.

My instincts were to run, but I tried to reason with them. He couldn't hurt me, not here. The elves are peaceful people, right?

'You have nothing to fear. I won't hurt you.' he told me but I didn't believe him at all. 'I'm only going to help you understand.'

I stood up slowly and was about to back away when I felt a sort of magnetic pull in the centre of my chest. Frowning, I tried to step backwards again, but with no success. Saruman had his staff pointed at me and had a look of concentration on his face. I started to panic, flailing my limbs around to escape. I felt as though I had a bungee cord tied around my waist.

'What are you doing?' I stammered, trying not to lose control.

I couldn't let him see my fear.

'As I said, I'm helping you.' he said, but his voice wasn't comforting, it was amused.

'How?' I squeaked, repeatedly trying to pull away, but I was always pulled back.

Saruman simply rolled his eyes and my lips were sealed - closed by some invisible force. I tried to speak, feeling increasingly as though I was trapped inside my own body.

I can't even scream for help.

Slowly, I began to feel my skin prickling, thousands of tiny needles pushing against my flesh. My hair stood on end and my head felt like someone was blowing a balloon up inside it. Bones in my spine were grinding together, my muscles contorting, trying to adjust to my distorting skeleton. I fell to the floor, clawing at my face, trying to make the sensation go away. My head was pounding and my blood was boiling, as though it were going to burst through my skin.

'Stay as still as you can.' Saruman instructed, sounding disinterested and slightly smug.

I tried to listen but my eyes and ears were burning, the force in the centre of my chest made it feel like it was collapsing in on itself. My vision turned red and there was ringing in my ears, followed by a tearing sound as my flesh was ripped apart.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

My heart was pounding.

The sound of my breathing was harsh and uneven.

I was too scared to open my eyes, horrified to see what state I was in. I could hear Saruman pacing, his footsteps reverberating through the floor. As the pain began to subside, I moved my toes ever so slightly.

_Okay, so I'm still alive._

But then I opened my eyes. Everything was dull and grey, making it difficult to make out my own hands in front of me. I blinked, and then everything became clear. Not just physically, but mentally too.

There is no other way to describe what I was, other than I was definitely not human. My hands - though they could no longer be called hands but paws - were large, and covered in coarse, black fur. I held my breath in shock, trying to process the information without having a panic attack, although I didn't think that was possible. This had to be a dream. This wasn't natural.

_But neither are wizards or elves._

I could feel my muscles tensing, ready to fight or flee, but many of them were foreign to me. My body structure was warped and unfamiliar, a stranger inside my own skin. I opened and closed my long jaws, staring down the length of my muzzle.

_Muzzle?_

The situation was almost comical had it not been frighteningly, stomach wrenchingly real. I glanced towards the window, wondering if I would wake up if I threw myself to my death.

My teeth were sharp and canine, pricking my tongue.

_What am I? A wolf? A bear? What sort of twisted magic is this?_

Slowly, I tried to lift myself to my feet, my claws scratching against the floor as I tested my weight on them cautiously. My hind legs skidded beneath me. I fought to stay upright, determined not to show weakness in front of the wizard. I could feel the strength in my bones as I kept my stance, feeling like a new-born foal trying to walk for the first time.

_If he thinks this is funny..._

My heavy head was level with the white wizard's, my eyes glaring into his. I wanted answers. I wanted to wipe the smug smile off of his face. I wanted nothing better than to _tear his throat out and watch him bleed._

"So. You were lying." he stated, his voice victorious.

I was stunned by his words.

_What does he mean lying? He thinks this was me? He did this!_

I involuntarily licked my black lips, running my tongue over my teeth. I surprised myself as a growl formed deep in my chest, slowly rolling through my body.

"It would've been easier if you could just reveal the truth at first." he shrugged. "Maybe it would've lessened your punishment."

The growl stopped in my throat.

_My punishment? But this isn't me!_

"I shall tell the council the evidence, maybe they would like to see it for themselves." he smirked and tapped me on the nose with his staff.

I tried to contain my anger and reason with him, but my voice didn't co-operate. How did he expect me to communicate like this? Unfortunately, my body spoke for me as my resolve snapped and I lunged forwards, my jaws gaping. Before I could sink my teeth into his wretched flesh, my head collided with something solid and I stepped away, confused. The air shimmered slightly and then went still.

Shocked at my own violent impulses, I froze. A whine escaped me, terror beginning to take hold.

_He has all the evidence he needs. How in hell am I meant to get myself out of this?_

"Killing me won't help you, beast."

_But he knows! He knows this isn't me, right? Why does he want me punished? I'm_ not_ a beast!_

I barked harshly in protest, the feeling unfamiliar in my throat. Saruman merely shook his head, as if in disappointment.

"Foul creatures cannot be reasoned with. Do not even think about trying to redeem yourself." he advised.

I knew there was no use trying to stop him leaving; I'd only make things worse.

_Change me back! I can't stay like this!_

Voices and colours spun around in my brain like a kaleidoscope - a hive of bees fighting to defend something.

_To defend what?_

"It is a shame though." Saruman sighed, and for a moment there was a glimmer of hope in my heart. "Skin changers used to be such a peaceful people."

Rage boiled inside me, frothing inside my mouth like acid. But despite my anger, part of me began to see reason.

_What if you are a skin changer? What if he genuinely believes you're lying?_

**_He did this._**

_He answered your questions._

**_No!_**

He had solved nothing. I could feel the dark tendrils of a savage fury licking the edges of my mind. Shaking my head, I tried to keep control, but my instincts were chomping at the bit. Then suddenly, just as my vision became blurred and spotted with red, I felt a tug around one of my ankles. I whirled around but I had yet to gain balance in this body and instead my legs collapsed underneath me.

I heard Saruman chuckle and the door slam shut. I tried to follow after him but again I was pulled back.

My fears were confirmed when I heard the jangle of a chain and felt the cold metal of a shackle digging into my skin.

_Why?_

I tried to cry out, but from my chest erupted a deep howl that rung in my ears and ricocheted around the room. My room. My prison cell.

* * *

The White Wizard hardly acknowledged my presence as he listed off precautions that needed to be taken and the amount of men that needed to guard the prisoner. I cleared my throat and he glared up at me. I bit back a smirk at the look on his face and bowed my head respectfully.

"With all due respect, it would be best to inform the Captain of the Guard." I told him. "I do not have the authority..."

I trailed off as he strode away without so much as a word of thanks. Gritting my teeth, I inhaled deeply and gripped the sword at belt. How I'd always hated arrogance...

Suddenly, a gut wrenching yowl split the air from behind the door throwing me off guard. I cried out in shock and immediately fell into a defensive position. But then there was silence. Steadying my breathing, I slowly approached the door, my hand hovering over the handle.

"Prisoner." I called, afraid to see what I would find.

What if there was a beast in there? Should I call for backup? Claws scratched on the floor behind the door and I tensed, pulling my hand away.

"I'm going to open this door."

Again there was silence.

"If you attack me, I have permission to use self-defence."

I felt like a fool; what if it was only the prisoner in there? I hesitated again as there was a muffled growl from inside the room. Inhaling deeply and swallowing my nerves, I swung the door open, my sword half drawn.

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes tried to adjust to the horror before me.

In the corner of the room, a black shape lingered in the shadows. It's dishevelled fur bristled as it breathed heavily, large pointed ears swivelling in my direction. At the sound of my sword scraping in my scabbard, the warg lifted its head towards me. Its small deep set eyes gazed up at me.

Never in all my years had I been so lost for words. How did it get in here? Had Saruman let it in? What had it done to the prisoner? Where was she? Then I realised. Before me stood the beast that had killed my kin - did I not have every right to run it through with my sword?

I expected the creature to attack, but instead it simply stood there... Still... Staring... It harsh gold eyes were sad and pleading. Brushing aside any guilt, my arm never wavered as I rested the tip against the warg's head.

"I would bid you speak if you could, beast." I spat, though I felt a pang of guilt for being so harsh.

The warg let out a low whine and slowly got to its feet, swaying unstably. The blade of my sword slid against the fur of it's neck as it looked up at me. We stood in silence for a few moments, assessing each other's motives. Cautiously, I knelt in front of the warg so it's eyes were level with mine.

"So this is your true self?" I asked, more softly than before, but I couldn't hide the bitter edge to my voice.

At this, the warg exhaled loudly and bowed its head in defeat.

"You could at least return to a more human form." I tried to coax her, but she didn't move.

I gritted my teeth, trying to keep calm. Part of me wanted the beast to attack, so that I could have an excuse to kill it. There was nothing human left about this creature.

"It would be more courteous." I pressed on, but it was becoming clear that the warg either couldn't or wouldn't co-operate.

I cocked my head to the side, hoping for any sort of response. Standing, I pulled my blade away from it's neck to stop the temptation of severing it's miserable head from it's body.

As I turned away to report to the Captain of the guard, I heard a noise like fabric tearing and the creak of wood bending. I whirled around to see the warg convulsing on the floor. It was a horrible sight as it frothed at the mouth and it's limbs curled towards it body. Whimpering in agony, it's tail withered and its head began to shrink, black fur giving way to raw skin. I stepped backwards in horror but could not bring myself to look away, captivated by a strange fascination. The noise of joints popping and bones snapping back into place made me feel sick to my stomach as the creature writhed before me. In a matter of a few seconds, I felt as though I had watched something live a lifetime and then decay as a corpse, and then the same thing in reverse.

Suddenly, I came to my senses and turned to flee the room. Just as my hand grasped the door handle, a voice cried out from behind me.

"Wait!" Sian called, but her voice was hoarse and broken.

She sounded like a lost child, and the despair and defeat in her voice was ringing in my ears. I was in two minds, part of me wanting to run to Captain and see the creature drowning in its own blood as my kin had done. However the other part, the winning part, wanted to comfort her and drive the away the sorrow. Did it really deserve to be killed? But equally, did it really deserve any help from me?

Inhaling deeply, I looked back at the beast. But the beast was no beast anymore. In its place, the prisoner was curled up like a foetus on the floor. In her naked form, it was clear that she was very malnourished - her bones were visible beneath her skin, giving her a half skeletal sort of look. Down her spine and the back of her neck ran a stripe of black fur and her fingernails were sharp and dirty. The anger slowly began to drain from my heart. The sight of her no longer made me feel fear or a wanted for revenge, only pity. She looked terrible. How could I have considered killing her?

_Because she murdered my kin. _I knew I had to accept that she was obviously confused, but her story was just too strange to be true. However right now, it was the only plausible explanation.

"Will you answer me now?" I asked, closing the door.

She looked up at me, her expression shocked. Her eyes were like none I'd seen before - the whites were not white, but black, and her irises an even brighter shade of gold than before.

"Answer to what? Haven't I explained everything?" she croaked, turning so that her hunched back was towards me.

I didn't speak at first. Instead, I took a blanket from the bed and carefully put it around her shoulders. I quickly stepped away, not wanting to make her anymore uncomfortable than she already was. Cautiously, she wrapped the fabric around herself and faced me again, avoiding eye contact.

Sitting down so that I didn't seem imposing, I spoke:

"Have you ever done that before?" I questioned.

Sian shook her head ever so slightly, nearly un-noticeable.

"Not that I can remember." She replied in a small voice. "But evidently I have done in the past." She paused, her face contorted with frustration as she fought for words. "Though it wasn't really me… Well, it was sort of…" She trailed off and looked down.

"Then how did you change back?" I pressed on, taking her silence as a sign to continue.

"I don't know." She shrugged, her lack of knowledge beginning to make me suspicious. "I just… Willed it."

"What made you change?" I questioned

Suddenly, she became animated, as if the question had spark a fire in her mind. Her back straightened and her eyes became alight with excitement.

"The wizard!" she gasped. "It was him!"

Breaking off into a fit of coughing, she stopped, her whole frame shaking. Little was I surprised at her outburst – I suspected that Saruman would have something to do with it. However I didn't expect him to have caused her change directly. What would make him do it?

I refrained from getting the prisoner any water; I didn't want to interrupt as she tried to continue.

"It was his staff," she wheezed, though her voice was gaining strength. "He pointed it towards me and-"

She gesticulated wildly with her hands, again not being able to describe herself. I nodded encouragingly, not noticing that I was leaning forwards with anticipation.

"I felt… Like a magnet?" she tried, but her words made to sense to me. "A pulling sensation. As if I were being crushed or folded."

"Is that when you changed?" I interjected and she nodded.

"Yes, and then he left and-" she started, but something stopped her.

Her eyes widened and her hands balled into fists.

"What?" I demanded, slightly more forcefully than I'd expected.

"He went to tell the council." She muttered, almost inaudibly.

"Tell them what?" I asked again, the un-needed suspense putting me on edge.

"That I attacked him." She said, becoming more and more panicked.

"Did you?" I interrogated her.

"No!" she protested and then bit her lip, looking guilty. "I got angry, but I didn't mean to- I didn't-"

I held up a hand to stop her as I heard loud voices on the stairwell outside.

"There are people coming. Stay here." I told her but she suddenly lashed out and gripped my forearm tightly.

"No you don't understand!" she hissed. "He's going to get me killed."

There was no denying the fear in her eyes, but I couldn't believe that the White Wizard would purposefully do such a thing. I carefully prised her fingers from my clothes, and strode away from her side, not turning back as I took my place outside the room once again.

I was just in time as Thiriston and an armour clad guard came around the corner. Holding my breath, I greeted them.

"Suil, muindor nin." I smiled, nodding to him as he approached.

"Galu," he replied, though he greeted me with no smile. "I bring word from Lord Elrond."


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry if the following chapters are a bit slow, but they're getting a bit difficult to churn out lately. Plz read and review! **

Chapter 6

'Dwarves? In Rivendell?' I exclaimed.

'It seems strange to me also, apparently they want to translate a map. They arrived but four hours ago.' Thiriston explained, staring out of an arched window overlooking the valley lit by the setting sun.

'All this way to have a map translated?' I shook my head in disbelief. 'It doesn't make sense.'

However not much had made sense since Sian had awoken.

'Well then they're obviously not here just for that reason.' he decided, sitting on the window sill and twisting a ring on his finger. 'Some say that they're on a 'quest to reclaim their homeland'. It's sad really; they'd never make it over the mountains.'

'Nothing is for certain.' I quickly stopped him in his thoughts. 'Besides, who knows whether they'd make it or not. But they will need all the luck they can if they try.'

'The Grey Wizard supports them.' Thiriston informed me, his eyes fixed on the floor.

'Gandalf?' I raised an eyebrow - too many unexpected things were happening at once. 'Why would Gandalf support dwarves?'

'One cannot predict Gandalf's reasons for doing things,' Thiriston simply shrugged 'But dwarves are stubborn, they would stop at nothing.

'Not even if Lord Elrond warned them against it?' I asked, but I knew the answer.

'They have no respect for our Lords.' he hissed clenching his fists.

I sighed. His violent nature and closed had always worried me. Hopefully with time he was grow wiser.

'If your homeland had been taken away from you, would you not do all you could to get it back?' I asked, genuinely anticipating his answer.

'It was the dwarves own fault that they lost their Kingdom.' he snapped. 'If their King had valued his people over his gold-'

'I'm sure it didn't happen like that.' I cut in.

'And you were there were you?' Thiriston raised an eyebrow sarcastically and I bit back a retort. 'Saruman won't let them anyway.'

'Where did this new found love for the White Wizard come from?' I ventured, folding my arms.

'He is here to help us.' Thiriston replied and I laughed humourlessly.

'He is here to help himself, you mean.' I countered. 'He's rude, arrogant, and greedy. Much like the dwarves in fact.'

My brother shook his head, his face contorted into anger.

'You should show more respect.' he muttered.

'As should you to the grey Wizard.' I lectured, my voice becoming more harsh. 'If he is here to help the dwarves then let him. Besides, the decision will be that of the councils' when all is said and done.'

'Whatever he is here for, I hope he leaves soon.' he smirked slightly to himself, as if he knew something I didn't.

The look on his face made me wary. When my brother wore a cold and cruel smile, bad things would always follow.

'Why?' I questioned, and he rose to his feet, his expression turning dark.

'Saruman is going to organize a trial for the beast.' he said. 'He claims that he has evidence to have 'true justice done' and that there should be 'no mercy for murderers'. With Gandalf here he would only slow the process.'

I tried to be happy at the news, but I could not bring myself to be. This creature had murdered my kin, I should be rejoicing shouldn't I? It was true that grief and anger swelled in my heart when I thought of my father's brother and the death that had been brought upon my people, however I couldn't deny the pity I felt for the young woman behind the door. She was so desperate and so alone. How could she even stand up for herself in a fair trial?

Part of me knew that Elrond and Galadriel could never let an innocent person be murdered. But I also knew the anger that my kin felt towards the skin-changer, so much so that they would never stop to hear the truth. If the trial proved the prisoner innocent, it wouldn't be enough to stop her blood being spilt. Why did the White Wizard so desperately want her dead?

'Are you not glad, muindor nin?' Thiriston frowned. 'The people of Tal Bruinen will be avenged and the beast will be dead. What more would you want?'

Though I was conflicted, I couldn't let my brother think I'd betrayed him with my thoughts.

'I am only sad that I cannot be the one to kill the creature myself.' I forced a smile and Thirisiton clapped me on the back.

'I too, but we can't have everything.' his lust for the prisoner's blood sickened me, but I kept silent as I watched him walk away.

As soon as his footsteps receded, I turned and knocked on the door.

'Come in.' Sian called, though her voice still sounded shaky.

I entered the room and saw that she'd dressed herself in a shabby dull dress that emitted dust every time she moved. The other lay in tatters on the floor. She was studying her face in the shards of the broken mirror when I cleared my throat. She smiled slightly when she saw me, but her eyes were sad.

'So am I right? Am I going to be killed?' she asked.

I took a deep breath before answering her, fearing that she was indeed right.

'You're going to be given a fair trial.'

'Fair?' she scoffed. 'If Saruman has anything to do with it I'll be killed on sight.'

'That's not-' I started but she cut me off with a shriek of frustration.

'Yes it is!' she cried and I held my tongue.

There was a heavy silence hanging over us until she spoke again softly.

'You can't convince me otherwise. I am in danger and if I don't get out I'll be killed.'

I shook my head but said nothing. I wished that there was a braver, fairer person in my place who could plan a heroic escape effort. However I'd never go through with anything if I wasn't sure first, and at that moment I wasn't sure of anything.

Slowly, I walked up to her and looked her in the eyes.

'Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond would never allow your execution.' I assured her.

She stared up at me, searching my face for any comfort, but I could give her none. I spoke no lies, but I still couldn't guarantee her safety. Sighing she looked down as a tear rolled off of her chin.

"I'm sorry." I told her, and I genuinely was.

'So am I.' she mumbled, and I had only time to lift up my arms in defence as there was a searing pain in my skull and then darkness.

* * *

I didn't look back as I fled the room.

Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to push the image of Elhadron's limp body out of my mind. Part of me wanted to turn back and check that he was alright, but this was my only chance. I couldn't begin to comprehend the consequences of my actions, but I couldn't go back on it now. Closing the door behind me, I started scanning the corridor for a way out. I wish I'd planned it better. I wish I'd planned it at all.

The one person who I'd trusted, the one person who I thought had trusted me, had wanted to kill me all along. That is what he'd said.

I just wished that at least one person could've genuinely wanted to help me. I started pushing on the windows, praying that at least one of them would be open. But I guess I couldn't blame him, because I couldn't be trusted. I'd almost attacked Saruman. I didn't even trust myself. Could I control when I changed?

All I knew was I had to get away; I was in danger, and so would other people be if I stayed.

But where would I run to? Why was I even here? Was anywhere safe for me?

_'The window on the far left.' _a familiar voice whispered soothingly in my ear.

I spun on the spot, trying to find the source of the voice.

_'Be calm, child.'_ Galadriel spoke again, her words making my heart dance with relief.

But then I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. What would she think of me now? Why would she help me after what I'd done?

_'Hurry.'_ she commanded and I didn't hesitate.

I tugged on the handle of the window, praying that I wouldn't break the glass. Slowly, painfully slowly, I forced it open, just wide enough for me to squeeze through.

The night sky was blanketed with stars, the light of the crescent moon making the valley glow. All was silent apart from the rustling of trees and the sound of water falling. It would've been peaceful had I not been an escaping prisoner.

I climbed onto the windowsill but was hit with a sudden wave of nausea - I was a lot higher up than I thought. Looking below me, there was no visible signs of any Elves. Maybe it was Galadriel's doing… Or they'd been distracted by the arrival of dwarves.

_'Look to your right.'_ Galadriel said, and I did so, seeing that there was a tangle of vines snaking up the wall of the tower.

Despite the way down looking fairly secure, the window and the trellis were far apart, and the drop was even further. It was surprisingly easier to see in the dark than it normally would be, but it didn't make me feel any safer.

_'Find your courage.' _the Lady of Lorien's voice was acting as a balm to sooth my anxious heart.

My knuckles were white as I gripped the sill, swinging my legs over the edge. My muscles screamed at me not to jump, but there was no other way. I waited, hoping Galadriel would give me more inspirational thoughts, but she was silent. Don't look down. I inhaled shakily, focusing on the branch that looked strongest, before pushing off from the windowsill. My stomach lurched as I began to fall, my arms flailing as I tried to grab hold of something. Everything was in slow motion as my arc was getting steeper. Steeper.

I yelped in pain as I caught hold of a vine, the skin of my palms being stripped away. I clung on desperately when a few branches gave way under my weight. Blood trickled down my leg, seeping into my clothes. Gritting my teeth, I started descending, but I was painfully slow. Praying that the tangled branches would hold, I kept glancing upwards in fear that I was being watched.

After what seemed like an age, my bare feet touched down on the cool grass. I immediately dropped to my knees, savouring the feeling of freedom. Though I knew it was not over yet. Leaves were entwined into my hair and my hand were red raw, but in this moment I didn't care.

'What now?' I mumbled to myself, hoping Lady Galadriel would give me an answer.

_'Your path is in your own hands now, child._' she said and my heart dropped. _'I cannot lie and say that you'd be safer here, for the White Wizard has darkness in his heart and many of my kin are clouded with grief. I assisted you in your escape only because it was the safest action to take.'_

I was lost for words. I was on my own? How as I meant to cope on my own? Surely this wasn't right – I knew nothing about 'middle earth'!

_'The safest action for who?'_ I asked, leaning against the base of the tower out of sight.

_'That is your choice to make, Sian Gladwin.'_ She continued, her voice sympathetic yet comforting. _'Your fate is your own, and your freedom is yours to do with as you wish. But you must have caution – whoever did this will still be out there. You must stay as unnoticed as you can.'_

_'Unnoticed how? Out where? I have nowhere to run!'_ I protested.

_'There are many paths that you can take, each very different from each other. You have made us aware of darker forces which we do not yet understand, and you are our only hope of understanding them.'_ She spoke almost in riddles, only heightening my frustration.

_'Isn't it dangerous?'_ I questioned, the prospect of having to decide a direction at random was terrifying.

_'Not as dangerous as it will be for you here._' She sounded genuinely worried for me, but I couldn't tell if it was more sympathy or fear.

_'But I don't know where to go or what direction to take; I don't know Middle Earth like you do!_' I pleaded, trying to get as much guidance as I could as it didn't seem likely I would get anymore in the near future.

_'I am truly sorry that I cannot assist you further. If you ever need my help, you need only to ask. You may meet many on your journey, though not all will welcome you, but there will be some who do. You must be careful.'_ Galadriel offered, though I could hear that our farewell was nearing.

'I need your help now.' I whispered aloud, burying my head in my hands, my salty tears stinging the raw skin.

_'Trust in yourself._' She commanded.

I was glad that she believed in me, as I certainly didn't believe in myself.

'Why?' I asked, lifting my head to look up at the stars.

_'Because your destiny is not to die here, neither is it to die on the road. You will gain nothing by staying here. Lord Elrond will thank me in time, as will you. May Elbereth guide you, Muilinrinas'._

As Lady Galadriel's comforting presence faded, so did the hope in my heart. The realisation that I was truly alone began to dawn on me. I was alone in a land that I knew nothing about. So far I'd been shown mostly hate, and those who had offered help were no longer with me.

Until then, I'd managed to push reality aside and focus on survival, but now, in the shadows beneath a place that had seemed so peaceful, I had nothing left to do but cry. I cried for my non-existent family, my home, and the warm, safe, comfortable life I'd left behind. The thought that it had never existed was too overwhelming.

I was a monster. A beast – I wasn't even human. Maybe there was a place that could accept me, but it wasn't here. Galadriel had spoken of my freedom, but I was imprisoned by my own lack of knowledge.

Erasing someone's memory was one thing, but giving them another life and then taking it away from them leaving them with no defences was cruel beyond measure. What could I have done so bad that it made someone do this?

I wanted to sit there until someone found me and pitied me, but staring at the stars forever wouldn't help anyone.

Slowly, I got to my feet, wiping the streams of tears from my face.

"Alright then, Elbereth, what next?" I mumbled as I scanned the cobbled paths for signs of life.

Normally I'd assume everyone was asleep, but Elhadron had said that Elves didn't need sleep. Cautiously, I stepped out onto the path, looking up at the half-open window of the tower. I didn't know how long it would take for someone to raise the alarm, but I hoped it wouldn't be soon.

Reaching down, I ripped my dress at the knee, wincing as the beautiful garment was ruined. I covered my head with the fabric, wrapping it around my shoulders like a shawl. I shivered slightly as a breeze from the river danced over my legs. Hiding in plain sight would be risky, but hopefully my escape wouldn't be noticed for a while. Hopefully. There was nowhere to hide among the plants and flowers that grew beside me, so I started along the path, my eyes constantly darting back and forth searching for guards.

I tried to act natural, breathing in the sweet air and admiring the white stone architecture that seemed to glow in the moonlight, but my instincts screamed at me to steal a horse and get out of the valley as soon as possible – not that I knew how to ride one.

Walking as far away as I could from the river, the sound of the falls began to put me on edge. I'd never liked water, and the lack of railings on the bridges made me nervous.

Distracted by my thoughts, I only just noticed that the sound of music and voices was getting nearer. The buildings and pavilions were growing in number. I bowed my head lower, knowing that before long I'd have to start avoiding people. I tried to slow my heart-rate and breathing, not wanting to draw attention to myself.

As I approached a cross-road, I saw that ahead of me was the hall that I'd been questioned in only a few days. Had it really only been a few days? It was difficult to tell with no way of keeping the time.

The doors of the hall were wide open but inside the atmosphere inside was very different to my short memories there. Chairs were set in a circle with tables of food and drink lining the walls. The imposing throne was gone and in the centre of the room the Elves conversed and sung. Their ageless faces were alight with joy and their hair flowed out behind them as they danced with each other in time with the lively music. Bards played their harps and lutes, their long fingers caressing the strings.

I watched them longingly, wishing I could be a part of their festivities. Or at least part of something.

I jumped with surprise as I heard Elvish voices behind me. Pulling my makeshift shawl over my head, I looked for a place to hide out of sight. But there were none. Instead, I leant against a sculpture in the middle of the cross-road, my chest heaving. When they came into sight, I saw that they were talking conversationally, their heads held high as they walked hand in hand. One of them noticed me and frowned, but carried on towards the hall without a second glance. I waited until they were inside, and then let out a sigh of relief.

Wiping the cold sweat from my brow, I started to stride swiftly away from the buildings and the people. Looking up the sides of the valley, I saw a thin trail leading upwards and out of sight. It looked as though the track jutted out from the steep cliff-face and lead onto forests or scrubland, though it was hard to tell. It wouldn't be long before they noticed I'd gone missing. Would they follow me? Or would Galadriel stop them?

As I approached a bridge, I was relieved to see that it was one of the few with railings of some sort. Anyone I passed on the way up the side of the valley appeared not to take any notice of me, but nevertheless my pace quickened and I frequently looked behind me, praying that no-one had thought I looked suspicious. There were a few vendors selling fine cloths and weapons, but mostly the streets were bare.

When I reached the archway – the last bridge out of Rivendell – I paused. This was the step into lands unknown. Lady Galadriel had said that it was not my "destiny" to die on the road, but that didn't mean it was certain. Destinies could be changed, and not always for the better.

I tried not to look back as the path zig-zagged up the mountainside, the air getting significantly colder. The smoothly paved path soon faded to rock, the jagged edges of stones digging into my bare feet. The muscles in my legs ached when the trail steepened, making me aware of my own exhaustion. The track was dangerously narrow and the height made my head spin. I wanted to stop so badly, but I knew that if I stopped I could be found easily should the Elves try and look for me.

I'd left so unprepared. I had no food, no water, no warm clothes, no way of finding shelter. Was I missing something that Galadriel had said? When she told me the path would be clear, had she been trying to give me a hidden message? Why did Elves have to speak in riddles? She'd hardly _helped _me, she'd only shown me the way out.

_'Yes, but if she hadn't you could be dead.' _I thought.

It took be about half an hour to reach the top of the trail, and when I did I looked back longingly. I tried to memorise the picture of Rivendell bathed in moonlight, as I knew it might be the last time I saw it. I was now trudging painfully slowly along a wild path, my feet curling as small stones and twigs scraped against them. Wrapping the shawl tightly around my shoulders, I shielded myself as well as I could from the wind that now blew freely across the scrubland.

My plan of action consisted of: follow the path, and no matter how useless it seemed, I was determined to stick to it.

My stomach growled as my hunger grew, and my throat was as dry as bone. Eventually, I stopped at a patch of berry bushes. They looked like blackberries, but I wasn't sure in the darkness. I was too hungry and too foolish to check and wiped them on my dress before eating as many as I could. My hands were stained blue and the moon was hidden by clouds, but the berries had satisfied my appetite for now. I wanted to take some with me, but I had no way to carry them unless I sacrificed another piece of fabric from my clothes.

With no moonlight to guide me, I stumbled into the edge of the forest, cursing as quietly as I could when my legs were pricked repeatedly by the undergrowth. My eyelids were growing heavier and heavier, making it difficult to concentrate. Instead of carrying on, I sat by the roots of a tree, the trunk protecting me from most of the wind. The damp ground was uncomfortable, but I hadn't had a proper sleep since I'd got here.

I knew I had to be on my guard, but slowly my eyes began to close and a dark, fitful sleep came over me.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Golden sunlight streamed through the trees and fell onto my face, waking me from my slumber. Yawning loudly, I stretched out, wincing as my joints groaned.

I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes. Mist circled around the forest floor, making my clothes damp and my hair frizzy. In the daylight, my surroundings became clearer. The trees were unlike the tall birches in Rivendell – these were pine trees that littered the earth with needles. The forest floor squelched as I stood up, leaning my weight against the gnarled tree trunk. There was less wind than there had been the night before, but the breeze was cold and my toes were going numb. I wished I'd known how to light a fire.

As I crept out of the dank undergrowth and towards the open heath, I paused and listened. My large ears picked up low voices on the wind. It could be my over-active imagination, but I didn't want to take any chances. Stepping out into the early morning mist, I looked out at the path ahead of me. It wasn't clear, but in the distance I saw the roots of mountains, their peaks covered with cloud.

I'd overheard the Elves talk of dwarves crossing the mountains, so surely there had to be settlements there? And where there were settlements, there had to be safe road. I was sure there would be one somewhere, maybe I would cross it if I stuck to the trail I was on.

Striding forwards, I rubbed my hands together to bring some life into them. Phantom voices were carried on the wind towards me. Despite my attempts to ignore them, I couldn't help but begin to walk faster, casting anxious glances behind me.

No matter how far I thought I'd walked, the mountains seemed to get no closer. The task of even reaching them was becoming impossible, let alone crossing over them. By the time I decided to give into my hunger, I noticed that the patches of bushes were practically bare of any fruit, and the edge of the treeline was getting further and further away from the path should I need any shelter. I was continuing on fuelled by only fear of getting caught, and the feeling that I was being followed.

As the wind picked up, the cold bit into my fingers and toes and blew my hair wildly out in front of my face. My thin frame provided no protection against the weather, and my clothes, no matter how well made, were about as much use to me as icecubes in the Arctic. Eventually, I was forced to stray from the path into the trees, my numb feet crunching pine needles underfoot. The air was so cold that I'd even considered trying to change form so that my fur coat could protect me, but the thought made me shiver more than the cold did. I hoped I'd never have to change into a creature again.

Though it seemed that I'd been walking for hours the sun seemed to have moved only inches across the sky. Sighing, I retreated further into the forest, though making sure that the tops of the mountains were still in sight. I was just about to stop and rest, when I heard the sound of something running through the trees. Instinctively, I crouched on the ground, holding my breath as the footsteps drew nearer. Twigs snapped and the undergrowth rustled, making my heartbeat race.

Was it an animal? Or had the Elves tried to follow me?

Surely the Elves wouldn't make this much noise, whether pursuing me or not. With the existence of dark magic and shape-shifters, I could only imagine what else I may encounter. Pressing my back against the trunk of a tree, I tried to steady my breathing. I heard a low growling from the trees ahead and squeezed my eyes closed. That's when I heard voices.

'Master said we had to hunt the dwarf scum.' one of them snarled.

I frowned as I listened in on their harsh, low voices.

'I am hunting them,' the other snapped back, its footsteps pacing back forth.

'You weren't meant to try and attack the Ageless Ones!" its companion chastised and I held back a gasp. 'Their eyes are sharp and their arrows even sharper. What will Master say when he finds that you lost one of our own?'

The other simply sniffed the air and started walking away from where I was hidden, much to my relief.

'That runt?' it scoffed. 'He was bound to get himself killed anyway. Besides, we wounded them for it.'

'That won't lessen master's anger.' The creature's companion pointed out, though they sounded smug rather than worried.

Suddenly, the footsteps stopped. One of them inhaled deeply, sniffing the air.

'What is it?' a third one barked and I jumped – I hadn't noticed it joining them and it's voice was closer.

'I smell… Warg.' It replied, pawing the ground.

The other two growled from deep in their throats, though it sounded like laughter. Then there was the sound of jaws snapping together and a yelp of pain.

'Stop wasting our time and let's turn back.' One ordered.

'No!' the other snapped. 'It's not one of our own.'

My relief was gone in an instant. What could they smell? Were there more 'wargs' nearby? The other creatures started sniffing the air and turning over leaves with their feet.

'Warg?' one questioned. 'I say human.'

'I sense both.'

'Impossible.'

'Shut up.'

'It's true.'

'He's right.'

'What?'

'Can't you smell it?'

'No.'

'You're useless.'

'Who are you calling useless?'

Within moments they were snapping and snarling, arguing amongst each other. I could've escaped whilst they were distracted, but it was too much of a risk. My heart rate quickened as their heavy footsteps got closer. Closer.

Suddenly, one of the creatures burst through the undergrowth, landing on its side only a few metres from me. I froze with fear as it stood up, shaking the leaves from its pelt. It whirled around to face it's companions, but stopped when it saw me sat at the foot of a tree.

Its dark fur was matted with blood and dirt, rotting flesh caught between its claws. Its large ears were pricked towards me, its eyes wide with surprise. I would've thought it to be a large wolf, but I already knew better.

The most terrible thing about it wasn't the bone-crunching jaws that dripped with thick saliva, or even the teeth like knives that were now bared in my direction; it was the fact that it was like looking in a mirror.

It was its eyes, so full of malice, that were so familiar to me. Bright amber irises surrounded by ebony – a harvest moon in the cold night sky.

It was not a bear or a wolf, nor any creature that I'd seen before.

It was a _warg_. _I _was a warg.

No wonder Elhadron had wanted to kill me – this beast was pure evil. I started to recover from the shock, searching the forest floor for something to use as a weapon. Unfortunately, the warg was recovering too, and its jaws opened wide in a wolfish grin.

'See, I was right, it is a human.' It sneered as it started to pace back and forth in front of me, like a cat playing with its prey.

I stayed as still as stone, not wanting to provoke it to attack me, though I assumed it would eventually.

'Human?' the others barked in unison and came crashing into the clearing.

They all had dark fur as I had done, but these two were significantly bigger than the other, rippling muscles visible under their thin, patchy fur. One had a deep scar running the length of its muzzle and it was this one that first advanced towards me. They looked at each other, a cruel humour in their eyes. Scar-face snapped his jaws together just inches from my face, making an involuntary scream escape my lips as I flattened myself against the tree trunk. The wargs barked with laughter at my show of weakness, making my blood boil.

'Stupid.' Scar-face smirked. 'You'd think Humans would know better than to stray out here.'

'Finish her off; Master will want us back soon.' One of his companions warned but Scar-face growled deeply and the smaller warg fell silent.

The muscular creature leant over me, revelling in the smell of my fear as it sniffed my face, its wet nose brushing against my cheek. Squeezing my eyes closed, I tried not to think about the dagger-like claws that could tear me apart in seconds. I could smell its foul breath as it yawned, showing off its sharp, yellow canines; the stench of dozens of corpses. Holding my breath, I turned my face away from it, as if it would somehow shield me from the creature's jaws.

It stood back and licked its lips, looking confused. Growling, it turned to its companions.

'It doesn't smell right.' He complained.

If it had been a different situation, I probably would've been offended, but instead I felt a spark of hope in my heart.

'I told you,' one of them hissed. 'It smells of warg!'

For the first time, I started to think that maybe my misfortune could help me. Scar-face hesitated, before nodding slowly.

'Well if it's not a warg and not a Human then what is it?' it mused, frustration that bordered on anger was evident in its ugly features.

'An Ageless One?' the smaller warg suggested but it was soon silenced when its companion cuffed it over the ear.

Their confusion gave me some hope – maybe I could talk my way out of this, but it soon turned to a frown when their frustration turned to anger. They began spitting and snarling, unsure of how to react.

'What is it?'

'It's un-natural!'

'Maybe it _is_ a warg?'

'Shut up!'

'That's impossible.'

'It looks human, so it'll taste human.'

'Rip it apart and we'll find out.'

In horrible unison, they all began to pace back and forth in front of me, baring their teeth as they argued amongst each other.

In the confusion, the smaller one seized his opportunity and broke away from the others, lunging for my throat. I screamed and rolled out of the way, hearing the creature's head smash into the tree trunk. Hauling myself to my feet, I whirled around to face my attacker. My instincts were conflicted between fighting and fleeing as the warg crouched on its haunches ready to pounce again, its eyes burning with fury.

Suddenly, a low howl erupted from somewhere over the valley, echoing through the mountains. All of our heads turned towards the noise, giving me a chance to slip away.

Quickly, I turned on my heel and ran for my life. Although I knew the wargs could easily outrun me, at least I'd get a head start. Pain flared in my feet with every stride, but fear of being torn apart over-ruled it. One of them attempted to follow me, but Scar-face knocked them to the floor and swiped his paw over their face. Yowling in pain, they fled in the other direction, towards the source of the howl.

'Put it out of your head!' Scar-face snapped to his remaining companion. 'We will be rewarded with meat if we return quickly.'

'But the Human,' the other protested. 'What if-'

'Leave it!' Scar-face commanded, before disappearing into the undergrowth.

His companion paused, staring after me, before reluctantly following the others. I actually laughed with relief as its tail melted into the trees, but it didn't stop me from running onwards. Whoever 'Master' was, I didn't want to find out. I ran further than I thought I could, but even when fuelled with adrenaline I couldn't carry on forever. As the terrain began to tilt upwards and the trees began to thin, I slowed to a walk, my lungs burning. My chest was heaving as I breathed in the cold air that clung to the back of my throat.

Out on the open ridge, my clothes offered no protection against the howling wind that pushed me backwards as I struggled against it. The change of scenery gave me hope, reminding me that, little by little, the mountains were getting closer. However, it also reminded me that I was getting more and more alone. The further away from Rivendell I walked, the further I was from Lady Galadriel, the only person who could give me guidance. My future at this point seemed practically non-existent, so I tried not to dwell on it. Instead, I repeated my only plan of action to myself over and over again – _Get over the mountains, find people, don't get caught. Get over the mountains, find people, don't get caught._

I was more wary after the wargs had found me in the forest. With every step I looked over my shoulder, scanning the rocky landscape for any menacing black shapes or Elven guards. Although I'd walked far, I was sure the Elves could go much further without rest. But would they risk following me? The wargs had spoken of 'Ageless Ones', did that mean that they'd attacked Elves on the road? I shuddered at the thought. What did the wargs want with Dwarves anyway? And who was 'Master'? It seemed that I wasn't the only mystery hanging over Middle-Earth at the moment, nor was I the biggest. I didn't know who the Dwarves were, but for their sake I hoped that they'd never have to face the wargs.

I struggled along the same improvised path for two days, stopping only breifly when I found a running stream to quench my thirst or an almost bare berry bush to silence my growling stomach, but even they were scarce. But I was hardly Bear Grylls, and the nights were so cold that I thought I might never wake up again, so cold that the small fire that I'd managed to start provided almost no heat. I was sure that someone should've passed me by now, another traveller maybe? But there were none. The road was empty, if it could even be called a road.

I'd heard that only one night in the wilderness could kill even the strongest people, so I began to worry that my remaining breaths were numbered. With amount of woodland to my left shrinking rapidly, being replaced by cliffs and mountains that rose up and fell down on either side of me, the danger of wargs attacking me seemed to lessen. But the approaching mountain pass seemed even more daunting. As least for now I still had a few small hills between me and the cliffs and grass beneath my feet, what would I do when travelling across rocks? Would I have to walk over snow? I kept telling myself to stop letting the past and future affect the present, but everytime I looked up the jagged peaks they seemed to grow in size and steepness.

As I sat under the shelter of a small hillock, I noticed a small scrap of cloth caught beneath a stone. Frowning, I pulled it out, and almost jumped for joy - it was a pair of woollen mittens. They were blue and too large for my hands, but they were warm when I put them on my feet. I looked around for any signs that anyone had been past, but there were none. Not even a footprint. Shrugging, I hugged my knees close to my chest and bowed my head down, preparing for another night in the freezing cold. The starlight that shone defiantly through the clouds was the only thing that gave me hope that something or someone was watching over me, because it sure wasn't any skill of mine keeping me alive until morning.

**Again probably another uneventful chapter, but I promise, like seriously promise, that the next chapter will actually have something interesting happen in it :D Please review and tell me your thoughts, especially if you have stuff I need to improve on!**


End file.
